(4/27/05, posted by Schultzenspeed) - Hey Towelie, in the market for a single speed? Voodoo Cycles has a sick 29"er, here's a shot of the Aizan prototype, or if you decide to go with 26" wheels, try the Wanga. Of course there's Spot Brand and the mind-blowing Brodie 1-ball. These bikes are for racing and were designed for suspension forks.

Then there's the On-One Inbred with their sick box-crown fork. Can't forget Surly's 1X1 or the crazy insane Karate Monkey. These are top-shelf tour bikes all three of which should be run rigid.

Get your single speed on!

(4/24/05, posted by Schultzensun) - Everybody plays in the heart of gold band and Modest Mouse is at Playmakers in Fargo on 6/1, tickets went on sale yesterday (ticketmaster). For Lyle Lovett fans, a mid May show at Fargo Theatre (ticketmaster). Don't forget to stop at Tochi Products while in Fargo, a great source for delicious and nutritious goodies.

(4/23/05, posted by Schultzenflurry) - Local jammers Gypsyfoot, check 'em out. More than one of whom you're bound to see on bike.

(4/22/05, posted by Silver) - The tour? Well things are bound to be a little off when a proposal to look up a laundry chute turns out to be a chute you do not want to see . WOW !!! Towelie (the firm believer in karma) decides to flog a brother with stones and has to pay the karma keeper (who you know is blind) handsomely. Although the true entrepreneur of the stoning mission was unaffected by the deeds of his actions. Must be true evil prevailing, or maybe the new moustacholio and the Canadian tuxedo are enough to to keep a Westapharian out of harms way. Well on to the Sandbar for some TNT markings to be left behind. Uncle _ _ _ _ _ _ _ was in town as well as some old favs of Le Tour. Koch is back in the Biszone. A fine ride ended with a little derby action, on to Tommy's Casa and the old fuck goes home.

Keep Ridin and Fuck Off

(4/22/05, posted by Schultzenmuse) - Tour de Swill Sweet Sixteen. Butterflies, lemonade, popcycles, gin and tonic, barbecue, bonfires, climbing trees, outdoor shows, Lester Fest, cold beer, warm rain, short skirts, blazing heat, cool nights and TNT.

(4/21/05, posted by Schultzenfoo) - Indy is a new computer program designed to empower both independent musicians and their potential listeners. The artist submits their music and the listener downloads the program. Macintosh and Linux versions are supposed to be ready by summer. Although I'm ardently opposed to Microsoft I fired up that sorry excuse for software just for you my beloved reader.

Indy is able to be trained to play the kinds of music you prefer, and it seems to be learning what I like relatively quickly. The first song was crap and then they played Thelonious Monk. If you think you'll like an artist you can click their name as it scrolls by and it'll take you to their web site. Another good thing is that it downloads high quality mp3s instead of streaming in lower quality. All you gotta do then is slap the file(s) into your music collection. They've got a simple yet useful help page and a FAQ for more detail.

I think they're having bandwidth issues, as the morning has gone on it's taking longer and longer to get new songs. Keep in mind Indy is brand new and still in testing so the infrustructure is not quite ready for the demands of the masses.

The primary developer behind Indy, Ian Clarke, is not only one of the world's most elite hackers, but also one of the most liberal. Seriously, this guy is feared and hated by governments and corporations across the globe. If that doesn't speak to you about the significance of Indy, you should turn away from computers forever. Go back to the f'ing caves ya Luddite, or at least grab an instrument and start playing. Maybe you could cut your thumbs off to accelerate your degradation and bring yourself closer to the animalistic desires you have.

Too-ur ... Too-ur ... Too-ur ... Too-ur ... Too-ur

(4/20/05, posted by Schultzenbomb) - TNT Cyclery is born! Not just a bike shop for the TNT crew, but for anyone who wants the dial in.

(4/20/05, posted by Schultzenblaze) - Happy 4/20 to all! Pope Haag names Silver and myself as Cardinals and Unlce Coli as Deacon. Much walleye fishing, free condoms for all and legalized hemp are just three provocative proclamations from this progressive new Pope.

(4/17/05, posted by Schultzenpepper) - Tour de Swill XV: Tommy Night Thunder. Silver, classic comments from the crack pipe, more news at St. Mary. One doughty Trashy Cat answers the call. Corral more upgrades and Coli summons J.Lo from the shadows. My pyloric valve slams shut, Eastons tormented for indiscretions. Sandbar butter, Colonel quilt. Coli trades paint with Stefannie in a gnarly derby on the bridge. Tommy finally makes the Page, not on bike, but with two females carrying him. Uncle Coli ranking beat down, Project 7 wreck redefines the lefty. Denny's grease bricks stick to ribs long time.

(4/14/05, posted by Schultzenleft) - I've written an essay on liberal radio and stuff, parental discretion advised. Thursday is upon us!

(4/13/05, posted by Schultzenquery) - Trashy Cat archetypes wanted.

(4/12/05, posted by Schultzenhop) - "You get the matches and I'll get the gasoline," check out Burn Bush by Phocus. Heard on BeatBasement.

(4/12/05, posted by Schultzentoon) - Silver wants you all to remember that there's always something for everyone. However polymorphously perverse you are, there's got to be something. Go Jewcifer!

(4/10/05, posted by Schultzenspinner) - Tour de Swill XIV: Rippin' single-track, three strong out for a pre-tour thirst builder. Taco Silver Prophets, a luxury ride on the tour. Corral pool trash talk, drunken drool pseudopal walks. Hot Heinerts maintain balance in the universe. Uncle Coli scores 10 executing a perfect Bianchi Roll blasting over the tracks. Project 7 in full effect, jagged granite, no affect. CRC fixy shows up for the crawl, geared specifically for an evil long-haul. Stefannie ball buster, crash for joy by the hustler. Eastons retirement party, a sombre event only for the hearty. Westapharian assigned to purgatory another week. Many detirements expected, many hotties we seek.

Yesterday Eastons and I spun for kids at the Great American Stationary Bike Race, a muscular dystrophy benefit. An annual event at the Women's Health Center, the place was loaded with eye candy.

TNT Conclave: 5 PM tonight, Sunset Park, Mandan, ND. Here are links to the upcoming Race To Sunset 12 hour enduro, info and registration.

(4/4/05, posted by Schultzenschriftsteller) - Tour de Swill XIII update, Cottonfuji spotted en route, but not seen at Sandbar. Uncle Coli has gone into retreat, but more hackneyed hijinks are expected.

(4/2/05, posted by Schultzenriden) - Silver and I rode the Pioneer single track yesterday, there were quite a few soft spots and it was muddy at the bottom of the southermost section. It was the inaugural ride for Silver's shiny new Cannondale Prophet, and he was having so much fun he just about killed himself! That's not to say that he crashed, but we ended up riding so hard and fast in the beginning that his friend broke a chain, and by the end he said he had entered the pain cave.

(4/1/05, posted by Schultzenriden) - Tour de Swill stage thirteen, five riders of the night and the pope is going to die. Hey, they'll just get another one. Eastons lays at home in fetal position, retirement party next week. TNT plumber's crack cock shaft presentation. Just say no! Le Tour reprimanded at the Corral for skipping out on them for two weeks. We're sorry, so sorry. Main bar party, babbley betty dancing. Boat on the Sandbar, only sold as a $500 package. Nightriders through the woods and Schultzenhammer back to the Colonel again scoring sweet love just in time for the grand finale, Uncle Coli v. Super Dave Osbourne.

ride bike from bar to bar in bismarck-mandan. . .
join our thursday night crawl starting around 9 pm at the corral on east main in bismarck

"Everything that elevates an individual above the herd and intimidates the neighbor, is henceforth called evil."
Friedrich Nietzsche